Albino Blacksheep » Text Files » The AIM Officer

 The AIM Officer by hybrid (Will)


hybr1d the0ry x: Yo yo

theAIMofficer095: Hi. I am Steven Bailey of America Online. We have gotten complaints that the screen name hybr1dthe0ryx has been using foul language. As you know, we do not tolerate that kind of behavior. We are giving you one warning and if this persists, we will have to terminate your account. Thank you and have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: yeah, thats cool

hybr1d the0ry x: I don't really care tho

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: whats poppin

hybr1d the0ry x: niQQa

theAIMofficer095: We do not tolerate that kind of behavior

hybr1d the0ry x: you forgot a period.

hybr1d the0ry x: at the end of that sentence

hybr1d the0ry x: btw

theAIMofficer095: We will have to terminate your account.

hybr1d the0ry x: you should probably use AOL

theAIMofficer095: /traceroute25

theAIMofficer095: /terminate

hybr1d the0ry x: before you try making a profile like that

hybr1d the0ry x: :p

hybr1d the0ry x: Cool commands o.O

hybr1d the0ry x: now what?

theAIMofficer095: ii.......@mac/traceroute72

hybr1d the0ry x: and.. ?

theAIMofficer095: Your account will be terminated in 72 hours.

hybr1d the0ry x: Ahh, I see.

hybr1d the0ry x: Can you make it sooner?

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: I'm very.. bored.

theAIMofficer095: We are giving you 72 hours to say good bye.

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: who's we?

theAIMofficer095: America Online.

hybr1d the0ry x: I thought it was

hybr1d the0ry x: Time Warner AOL

hybr1d the0ry x: Didn't you guys merge?

theAIMofficer095: No sir.

hybr1d the0ry x: So you guys, didn't merge

hybr1d the0ry x: ?

theAIMofficer095: This is America Online tech support.

hybr1d the0ry x: Time Warner, AOL.

hybr1d the0ry x: right?

theAIMofficer095: No.

hybr1d the0ry x: Why not?

theAIMofficer095: It is not part of Time Warner, AOL.

theAIMofficer095: It is it's own seperate organization.

hybr1d the0ry x: Oh...

hybr1d the0ry x: So how much do they pay you to do this?

theAIMofficer095: It is designed to assist Customers with troubleshooting.

hybr1d the0ry x: But.. you messed up on punctuation before

hybr1d the0ry x: look

hybr1d the0ry x: theAIMofficer095: We do not tolerate that kind of behavior

hybr1d the0ry x: Are you supposed to be a bot or somthing?

theAIMofficer095: No.

hybr1d the0ry x: So you're a real person?

theAIMofficer095: I am Steven Bailey of AOL.

hybr1d the0ry x: Oh.

theAIMofficer095: Yes.

hybr1d the0ry x: How much do they pay you?

theAIMofficer095: That doesn't concern you.

hybr1d the0ry x: Oh..

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: Why are you doing this?

theAIMofficer095: Do you have any more questions?

hybr1d the0ry x: !!

hybr1d the0ry x: Aren't you enjoying our convo?

hybr1d the0ry x: Well yeah.

hybr1d the0ry x: I don't want my account terminated :-(

theAIMofficer095: I have had reports of this screen name using foul language.

hybr1d the0ry x: HeH HeH HeH

hybr1d the0ry x: That's a lie!

hybr1d the0ry x: Who told you that?!

theAIMofficer095: I will be forced to use all necessary measures.

hybr1d the0ry x: Ooh...

hybr1d the0ry x: What should I do?

theAIMofficer095: We are giving you a warning.

theAIMofficer095: If we see this behavior again, we will terminate the account within 72 hours.

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: Oh.

hybr1d the0ry x: So stevey

hybr1d the0ry x: how's the family?

theAIMofficer095: This is tech support.

theAIMofficer095: Sorry for the inconvienence.

hybr1d the0ry x: It's all good.

hybr1d the0ry x: What's up?

theAIMofficer095: This is tech support.

theAIMofficer095: We do not answer such questions.

hybr1d the0ry x: Why not?

hybr1d the0ry x: Is it because i'm white?

theAIMofficer095: Because this is tech support.

hybr1d the0ry x: WHATS YOUR MANAGER'S SCREENAME

hybr1d the0ry x: IM GOING TO HAVE A CHAT WITH HIM

theAIMofficer095: I am the manager.

theAIMofficer095: And I am not racist.

hybr1d the0ry x: You can't start sentences with "And"

hybr1d the0ry x: C'mon man.

theAIMofficer095: I am not a bot.

theAIMofficer095: I am not perfect.

hybr1d the0ry x: It's alright man.

hybr1d the0ry x: So then let's talk.

hybr1d the0ry x: How's life?

hybr1d the0ry x: Are you in like a box or somthing?

theAIMofficer095: No.

theAIMofficer095: I do not answer such questions.

theAIMofficer095: I am only here for technical support.

hybr1d the0ry x: Oh..

hybr1d the0ry x: alright alright

hybr1d the0ry x: remember that time in highschool

hybr1d the0ry x: when we teepee'd the principal's car

hybr1d the0ry x: oh man, that shit was fun

hybr1d the0ry x: how's kelly?

theAIMofficer095: I do not answer such questions.

hybr1d the0ry x: Cmon stevey!

hybr1d the0ry x: You gotta remember that..

hybr1d the0ry x: Does your mom still make those awesome cookies?

theAIMofficer095: I am tech support.

hybr1d the0ry x: Ya know, the ones with the choclate chips?

hybr1d the0ry x: Yah, I know.

hybr1d the0ry x: What's it like there?

theAIMofficer095: I do not answer such questions sir.

hybr1d the0ry x: Listen. here's the plan

hybr1d the0ry x: at 6 pm (EST)

hybr1d the0ry x: im gonna come with my truck

hybr1d the0ry x: im bustin you outta there

hybr1d the0ry x: be ready man

hybr1d the0ry x: IM GETTING YOU FREE

theAIMofficer095: I am tech support sir.

hybr1d the0ry x: YES I KNOW

hybr1d the0ry x: But man

theAIMofficer095: I do not answer such questions

hybr1d the0ry x: When did I ask a question???

theAIMofficer095: Have a nice day.

hybr1d the0ry x: WHAT?

hybr1d the0ry x: Do you still have that fetish for feet?

hybr1d the0ry x: You were the man in highschool! You still got that bitching' camaro?

theAIMofficer095: We do not tolerate that kind of language.

hybr1d the0ry x: What?

hybr1d the0ry x: What'd I say!

theAIMofficer095: You are using foul language.

hybr1d the0ry x: Ok seriously man..

hybr1d the0ry x: you can talk normally

hybr1d the0ry x: I won't tell anyone

hybr1d the0ry x: what are you wearing? ;-)

hybr1d the0ry x: HEY MAN

hybr1d the0ry x: HELP ME

hybr1d the0ry x: FFXI Phr34k

hybr1d the0ry x: is cussing me out

hybr1d the0ry x: :-(:-(!!!!

theAIMofficer095: Do you have evidence sir?

hybr1d the0ry x: Yes

theAIMofficer095: Where is it?

hybr1d the0ry x: FFXI Phr34k: bitch nigga hoe

theAIMofficer095: That is not valid evidence, sorry.

hybr1d the0ry x: FFXI Phr34k: I HATE YOU FUCKER

hybr1d the0ry x: what do you WANT?

hybr1d the0ry x: dna evidence?!

theAIMofficer095: He did not write that sir.

theAIMofficer095: You did.

hybr1d the0ry x: Are you calling me a lier?

hybr1d the0ry x: You sonofabitch.

hybr1d the0ry x: After all that shit we went through in highschool.

hybr1d the0ry x: You call me al ier?

hybr1d the0ry x: lier*

hybr1d the0ry x: I THOUGHT WERE WERE HOMIES

theAIMofficer095: Your aol account will be terminated in 72 hours.

hybr1d the0ry x: THINK ABOUT IT

hybr1d the0ry x: WE COULD HAVE BEEN LIKE

hybr1d the0ry x: ......

hybr1d the0ry x: CLOSE!

hybr1d the0ry x: Hey man

hybr1d the0ry x: I'm sorry

hybr1d the0ry x: 12th grade, senior prom.

hybr1d the0ry x: I fucked your gf

hybr1d the0ry x: Im really sorry dude

hybr1d the0ry x: I was drunk

hybr1d the0ry x: are we cool?

theAIMofficer095: I do not answer such questions.

hybr1d the0ry x: Why not?

theAIMofficer095 signed off at 5:13:07 PM.

theAIMofficer095 signed on at 5:13:29 PM.

hybr1d the0ry x: Welcome back!


The AIM Officer 2